The Inevitable


I write.
I have to write..

I have to write
To soothe
My burning soul.

To remind
My Silly heart to
Discard the emotions.

I have to write
To understand
What i want.

To know
What is going on
Inside and outside.

I have to write
To make me
understand myself.

I write
I have to write
I will write..


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निबाह


आसां नहीं यहाँ
रिश्ते निभाना,

न झगड़ना और
हँसी में उड़ाना,

शक से ज्यादा
भरोसे पर भरोसा,

समझदारी से इक-दूजे
का साथ निभाना,

दिल को दिमाग
लगाने न देना,

आसां नहीं यहाँ
रिश्ते निभाना |

– ‘नामी

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क्यों ??


मुद्दतें इंतज़ार के बाद किया उसने

इज़हार-ए-इश्क़, तब हस्ब-ए-आरज़ू* मिला ।

फिर अश्क गिरे इन आँखों से क्यों ।

-‘नामी

*हस्ब-ए-आरज़ू – आरज़ू के मुताबिक

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Significance


 

On the occasion of Holi, the festival of colors, I share this artwork which is 40 years old. It shows Shri Krishna and Radha playing with colors.

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Time has changed. There was a time when the love used to be true and pious. There was no show off. Feelings came from Heart, from within. Now feelings come from mind. Sigh !!

 

Below lines try to express the feelings of Radha – Krishna in the present scenario.

 

समय

 

वही रंग, वही पिचकारी

वही तुम, वही मैं

बदले, तो सिर्फ मायने।

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ख़ामोशी


गिरती ‘गर कागज़ पर तो ये आँसुओं

की बूँदें सब सच सच बयाँ कर आती ।

शुक्र है खतों का दौर नहीं रहा ।

-अ’नामी’

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The Decision


Misha from last few, rather more than few incidents she was more fed up than irritated.

Misha is constantly in the dilemma whether to share her mind set, with Shantanu or not. Her “upset-cum-agitated” mind is making her mad. In her full term, she don’t want to be in any trouble due to her mental state.

On one hand, she has one thought of avoiding the situation, and not increase any negative discussion on the topic. Another thought she has, that Shantanu should know everything. She knows, now she can’t handle the bundle of thoughts, and no more hold the sea of her compressed feelings inside her heart. Her heart is now overflowing and just a gentle strike will spill it out. She need to put “what’s-going-on-in-her-mind” out, and free herself.

First she thought Shantanu will blame only her that how can she say anything about his side of family. But on the second thought she knew Shantanu will understand her and her perception. As Shantanu also knows their nature.

At last, after so many sleepless nights, She took a stand and finally decided to share her feelings with Shantanu.

 

 

 

But she didn’t..        Wordless, she was..

 

 

 


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मुझे क्या !!


मैंने तो किया है प्यार
तुम करो, न करो
मुझे क्या..

सबका ख़्याल है तुम्हे
मेरा हो न हो
मुझे क्या..

देखते तुम सब हो
समझा, करो न करो
मुझे क्या

मुझे तेरी जरुरत है
तुझे मेरी जरुरत हो न हो
मुझे क्या ..

-अ’नामी

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स्मृतियाँ


पहली बार हिंदी में पोस्ट लिख रही हूँ | कविताएँ जरूर लिखीं है । मुझे हमेशा हिचक बनी रहती है |हिंदी हमारी मातृभाषा है , किसी से कमतर नहीं पर न जाने क्यों, हिंदी में लिखने का विचार हमेशा मुझे सताता है |  काफ़ी समय से यह पोस्ट ड्राफ्ट्स में रखा हुआ था | मन में विचार आ आ कर रुकते थे की इसे पब्लिश करूँ या नहीं | चूँकि इसमें कुछ खास है नहीं, सिर्फ चंद पंक्तियाँ ही है, परन्तु पता नहीं क्यों दिल को छूती है | आज फाइनली इसे पब्लिश कर रही हु | इसे मैंने नहीं लिखा | कभी बहुत पहले कही पढ़ा या सुना था तो लिख कर रख लिया था | यह आदत है मेरी | कुछ अच्छा सुना या दिल को छूने वाला लेख पढ़ा, या फिर किसी से बात करते वक़्त ही अनायास कुछ अच्छा लगा, तो लिख लेती हूँ |

मैं हमेशा मानती हूँ, कि यह ज़िन्दगी हमें हर वक़्त, हर लम्हा, हर घड़ी कुछ न कुछ सिखाती ही रहती है | इन पंक्तियाँ में भी ऐसा ही कुछ है | जब कभी पढ़ो तो बल प्रदान करती है |

स्मृतियों में हमारे पास हमारी बहुत सी मुस्कानें सुरक्षित होती है | ढेर से दुखों , सुखों और उन पुराने दुखों से उबरने के सुखों की सुखद और भली स्मृतियाँ भी अपनी जगह बना कर स्मृतियों में कही सुरक्षित बनी रहती हैं | और गाहे बगाहे जब हम किसी नए दुःख से टकराते है तो हम स्मृतियों में सुरक्षित उन्ही सुखद और भले दिनों की स्मृतियों की शरणगाह अपनाते है | यहीं से हमें फिर उबरने , फिर लौटने और फिर खड़े होने का सहस भी मिलता है |

 


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तब और अब


तब, सुबह उठते ही माँ का दुलार
अब, सुबह उठते से जिम्मेदारियों का भर

तब, ज़रा सी चोट पर बैंड ऐड लगवाना
अब, दर्द-ए-दिल भी किसी को न बताना

तब, काम करते  वक़्त कुछ होना और सब को बताना
अब, खुद ही जले का इलाज करना

तब, नींद न आए तो सुबह लेट उठना
अब, रात भर जाग कर भी जल्दी उठना

तब, दिल खोल कर बात करना
अब, दस ख़्यालों में आधा बोलना

-अ’नामी’

 

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Finally.. the solution


I expect
Coz..
Am ready to do
That much for you

Fine..
I will not do
That much

Will that
deteriorate, lessen
My Expectations??

Yes yes !!
I become you
And am not
Hurt now

I learn from you
You taught me

Thank you!!
for..
Being my teacher.

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हो जा ज़रा मतलबी


अकेले आये थे अकेले जाएंगे,
दुनियादारी के चक्कर में क्या पाएंगे ।

सिर्फ अपने लिए, खुल कर जियो
डरो मत बस करो, जो मन कहे वो ।

करो शुक्रिया, ज़िन्दगी जी लो पूरी
कुछ ख्वाहिशें रह न जाये अधूरी ।

-अ’नामी’

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21 Random Facts About Me


21 Random Facts About Me.. It’s been long time when i read Ms. Anamika’s blog post about this. Such type of prompts ignite some thoughtfulness and make me think about myself. It helps to know myself better. We don’t know ourselves nearly as well, as we think we do. I fall in this categoty 😀

‘To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.’ – Socrates

Here are few really random and funny facts about me.

1. I never tasted tea. Yes it’s true!!

2. While dipping biscuit in my glass of milk (bournvita / or plain) oh yeas i still drink milk daily. I hold two parle-g back to back then dip. P

3. I do not really like cooking. Ok call me bad. (it is just the starting)

4. Don’t know dancing, though tried sometimes when alone 😉 , but just once on stage. I may be suffering from “stage fear”.

5. Very keen in technical things, gadgets, electronics etc. different softwares. Me being a girl, it surprises many people.

6. People say and now I also agree, I am too straight forward and don’t know how to talk or showoff.

7. Quite good at art work, designs, painting, creative work.

8. Started being myself now. Of course it is hard. You have to be bad in others’ view. Call me bad again. I don’t care anymore.

9. First page first, then last page, then backwards. Strange and funny but, yes I read newspaper like this only. 😛

10. Can write somewhat readable text with left hand 😛

11. Can do almost anything, after trying once.

12. Another non-girlish fact. 😛 I Don’t like sweets. I prefer savoury dish over something sweet.

13. Yet another non-girlish one. I am kinda color blind. Unlike other girls, I can’t properly understand different shades or ” ish ” in colors. Like magenta, mustard colour, sea green, parrot green, rani color, peach color, purple, violet etc.

14. While counting anything in hindi after “tees” (30) I go – thirty one, thirty two…

15. Many a times I pronounce “s” sound as “sh”. Like sys(h)tem, s(h)tart, s(h)tyle, s(h)tage, s(h)traight, fas(h)t.

16. I can type real fast.

17. When I am angry, I usually get silent. Can’t hide my expressions. My face says it all, specially anger and discomfort.

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18. Noticed recently that I reset the plastic to it’s original shape (unlike second one in the pic) , after taking the tablet from the strip. ( first row is empty)

 

 

 

19. I was so introvert that i didn’t talked to anyone and had only one friend in childhood. 12 classes..3 schools..2 friends. Thanks to Facebook,  for connecting with some old fellas. Improvising and made few more awesome friends through blogging.

20. Since childhood when asked what i want in life or what my goal is “Name, Fame and Money” is my answer. 😛

21. I can bet, no one had ever done this much research, on one’s own name, as i have done. While introducing myself (school, college, wherever), the question i knew always coming up next is “what’s the meaning of your name?”

P.S. – 1. it’s a stage in meditation of Radha Swami mat..
2. In french “une ami” pronounced as Anami means ” A friend”
– please google for more information 🙂

Even you can try taking up this. It will be fun. I f you wish share your blog post link in the comment section below.

 


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तू..


मेरे मर्ज़ की
है यही दवा एक
तू..

न निराश होऊ
साथ है ‘गर
तू..

न हताश होऊ
है हाथ थामे ‘गर
तू..

हर गम सह जाऊँ
है सामने ‘गर
तू..

मेरे हर मर्ज़ की
है सिर्फ और
सिर्फ दवा एक
तू..

-अ’नामी’


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स्थिर


दुखी, बेहाल, निराश, हताश, टुटा-बिखरा,

जैसा छोड़ गए थे, वैसी ही हूँ अब तक ।

अ’नामी’

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लम्हें


उसके न होने के साथ हुआ एक एहसास भी,
हाय, कितने ढेर लम्हें होते है एक ही दिन में ।
-अ’नामी’

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———————————————–


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