Bated Breath

“Karan..Karan..where are you?” exclaimed Rohit.

“Here, come to this room.”

Rohit followed the voice and proceed towards the door at the end of the corridor.

He touched the knob and was about to open the door.

“Rohit what are you doing here? I was looking for you in the whole house” Karan summoned from behind.

“Ka..Karan, I heard your voice from this room.” Rohit turned.

“I told you not to come here. This is a haunted house.” Karan grabbed his hand and dragged him away from the door.

They ran towards the staircase. On the wall, Karan glanced over the mirror. There was only one reflection. Rohit’s image was not in the mirror. Karan turned and looked at Rohit. He smiled (Devilish). That makes his grip loosened. He unhands Rohit’s wrist and started to run downstairs. The stairs began to move. He was running down on the escalator coming up. Suddenly it stopped. Karan held his bated breath. He just stepped on another stair and it disappeared and turned flat into a slide. He slipped. He holds the railing for support. A hand came and hold his hand.

“Karan, what happened ?? how you reached here.? Why are you hanging outside the rails? Come let’s get out of here.“ Said Rohit pulling him up.

“No, leave me,”Karan screamed and released his hands. He falls. He is falling and falling into the deep endless abyss.

“Karan, wake up, wake up Karan.” Karan slowly opened his eyes to the voice.

He found himself in his room, all alone. He was confused as to what he saw was a dream or what. He gets up from the bed and opened the door.

“Where were you Karan, I was looking for you in the whole house? Let’s get out of here,” said Rohit hurriedly.

“Kill him kill him”. Voices start to come from everywhere. They are pacing towards the main door. When they are running out the main door. Karan fell.

“Come on Karan, just two more steps and we are out of this. Get on your feet and run” Said Rohit helping him to stand. Karan gets up and starts to run as fast as he can. Rohit watches him and ran behind him.  

“Rohit Help..Help me “ Karan’s voice keep coming from the haunted house behind.


I am taking part in The Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge 


     Friday Reflections

Categories: Short Stories, WT ProBlogger Challenge | Tags: , , | 12 Comments

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12 thoughts on “Bated Breath

  1. That was sooooo scary! I had goosebumps as I read it! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nice attempt for a first try!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Interesting theme and idea. A bit of constructive feedback would be to be mindful of your tenses in the story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Sanch.. I am working on it and it will definitely take some time for anyone to master something.
      Can you please help or suggest the particular mistakes and corrections??


  4. Rajlakshmi

    Woa that’s intense… I wonder who went out. Loved the story 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Scary! Good try. Yes you need to work on what Sanch mentioned. I’m sure you can pull off a story well.


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