Raw Writings

Starting with Small Steps Everyday..


What is the reason of our griefs??

Why are we disturbed?

Why we feel agitated at times?

Many a times I ponder upon such questions. Being with family and with in-laws it happens time and again. Somebody says something. Another one punctuate at times. Someone interrupts when you doing some work. It is not necessary that person is hurting you intentionally.

We cannot control the situation or that person. What we can control is ourselves. Our thoughts are the root cause of our griefs, disturbances, and agitation. That person and situation is gone. That moment passed. Person got engaged in something else. But we and our thoughts are continuously repeating those particular harsh words and keep on practising some answers for future. Or just talking to self about how and why s/he can say like that and remembering other wrong deeds of that particular person.

Eventually what is the outcome?? We hurt ourselves mentally and emotionally.

So what can be done? I got the answer to this one evening watching TV.

Again as i say.. everything out there teach us something. I am not a regular viewer of daily soaps, or any of those saas-bahu melodramatic series. But one bahu i watch daily is ‘our Rajni Kant‘. It is so easy to handle matters even as complicated and tangled as noodles the way she does.

There is so much to learn from that TV series in our daily lives and relationship.

“Ye feature toh mujhme he hi nahi”.

Mostly our negatives are the reactions to someone else’s deed or words . “Usne aisa bola, aisa kiya,  ab dekho me kya karta hu. Next time agar aisa Kaha na to main ye jawab dunga”..

There are uncountable instances like such in our daily lives. In such situation why not say “Ye feature toh mujhme he hi nahi” and move on happily.

It needs a lot of work and higher level spiritual growth along with self analysis to be equanimous even with positive emotions and vibrations. But at least we can take the first step. Small steps with negative emotions. Whenever some negative, or wrong thought comes, we must follow Rajni.

Come Anger, frustration, jealousy, sadness, depression, doubt, regret, fear, hatred..“Ye feature toh mujhme he hi nahi” 🙂 I do.. Who else want to join in??

Linking this post with #Microblog Mondays and #Monday Musings

monday-musings                   microblog_mondays

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Two Questions


There are many things in everyone’s life that they wish they would not have done. or will want to first try something you haven’t done then (if given a chance) will undo.

From nowhere these two questions came to my mind

1. If you were given a undo button, then what is that one thing you will undo?

2. If you are at liberty to undo, what is that one thing you will give a try to?

Think and write the very first answer clicked for both the questions.

For once these questions make you think a lot and may took you to the flashback. But at the end will teach us to accept life.

P. S. – edited – at first these may look like same questions. But they aren’t. There’s a very thin wall between the two. First question asks about undoing something you HAVE done in past. And NOW you want to undo that. Second question asks about you HAVEN’T done in past (due to any reason). And Knowing that you CAN undo it now you want to try and see the consequences of it. Later undo it (or may not).

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Fed Up?? Let’s break up !!


This is it. Bahot ho gaya, now i can’t live with you. It’s hard for me to take this decision but now I can’t handle you any more. It took so many days for this to come out, to say all this and trust me being a girl it’s not that easy for me.

With you I feel Safe, you make me feel and look like a girl, a princess.  You gave me the charm, the elegance, the style. With you there is a glimpse of delicacy in my actions. In fact you are the one who transformed this “rough and tough me” into a delicate darling.

Yes, blame me, going with you was my choice and initially I was loving you,  but then slowly I realized that we are not made for each other.

As the person I am,  who loves something new every now and then. Always looking for few adventures, trying new experiments,  you certainly were the best and served your purpose faithfully. 

Sorry but its over now.  It’s becoming more and more difficult. You are good temporarily, but not for long term.

I so much want you to be with me. But with you i can’t do things right. I can’t use keyboard properly, even on mobile it becomes a mess trying to touch and tap the right place. Laundry is a hard task with you. It had become very hard to do daily routine work. Many times I bruised myself because of you. Sometimes you also got hurt, and..ouch.. that hurt me a lot..yes a lot..Literally.

So, my dear long, girlish, well filed, beautiful and well shaped nails.. (One already broken real bad)..Goooood byyeee. I am now murdering you all by chopping your heads off. Cya soon.

P.S – Another hand on humor. Let me know how is it.

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The Day After Mother’s Day


Yesterday it was Mother’s Day and I was thinking and wondering all day that what should I  write on this Mother’s Day to “show my respect and Love for my mom”. After all , I have one day per year to do that. (sarcasm intended) I saw all networking sites.. FB, whatsapp, twitter etc. were all flooded with mom’s messages. I kept on thinking and thinking and thinking. ..Should I change profile picture on facebook or write a post?? Change DP on whatsapp, or update status on whatsapp to “Happy Mother’s Day” ?? Damn!! what to do..huh ?

Being a married Indian girl, I am also supposed to have my MIL as my mother as well. (and I do, with all due respect). Even if I don’t call her daily 2-3 times she still has that special place in my heart. I surprised her with  a personalized gift, which I guess she will surely appreciate. And when am not satisfied merely by that, I personally called and wished her. I am happy and satisfied.

My mother did not use a smart phone. Neither is she ever interested in socializing on networking sites. Now, when she even don’t socialize a bit, yes even then, I would have expressed my love and respect for her on social networking sites, but I didn’t. (Oh!!  What a bad daughter am I .. ain’t I ??)

This Mother’s Day, she was in a Vipassana Camp yesterday so I can’t even had a word with her, for until 3 more days. That is OK with both of us. People have a hard time to believe, when I say I hardly talk with my mum once or twice in 10 days or so. Well unlike, present modern days where frequent talking in “mayka” is usual, (be it any genuine reason, no offense) I find myself lagging behind in this.

After the full day of thinking, finally I decided. I posted nothing on facebook; I didn’t changed DPs on FB or whatsapp ; done nothing at all on any of the networking sites. I just closed my eyes, smiled, saw her smiling face and whispered “Happy Mother’s Day Maa”. And Yes, she will definitely call me when she’ll be back. (Yeah, I apologize, I rarely make a call.)

While writing this stumbled upon this pic somewhere –
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Will people really think that I don’t care about my mother, if I haven’t posted anything impressive?? Will the society really accept me??

Am sorry Maa for being such a heartless, non-loving and anti-social (pun intended) daughter.

Categories: Raw Writings | Tags: , , , , , | 10 Comments

Don’t Fall


You can never win from a Machiavellian, insidious and canny person. And trust me, don’t even try.

No, I am not telling you that you can’t win. You definitely can. I know you can and you will win. But in that process you will lose your peace of mind.

You will end up becoming someone you never want to be.

It’s like they will drag you to their level and then defeat you with their experience.

So it’s better you don’t get into the mess and ensure peace.

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Focus


Came across this on some FB group. It ignited a war of words within me. It’s always been a topic of debate.

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Yes I am from that generation. (Most of us are.) I was one of those kids. I had seen my mother sacrificing everything only to make us happy. Somewhere deep down I also had that feeling that sacrifice is the only way to live.

This type of conditioning need to be changed. Of course, parents are not doing this intentionally. They are not telling or teaching their children to sacrifice for other’s happiness. They are just doing what they have learnt by watching their parents. And their children see them and learn. Children learn what they see.

As the time passes and kids grow up, it becomes a habit. Sacrificing and compromising is now a part of  the behavior. As a kid and still in teenage, they continue to think of others (definitely our loved ones) before “own self”. This mindset, if not changed and, if freezes deep down in roots of mind, will do no good but bad. So,this wiring need a repair-maintenance in today’s world.

Time has changed and so should we.

I am not saying that don’t think about others at all. It is like “don’t think of others at the cost of your own self”. As I grow up I realized that it is more important to make “yourself” happy before others. Whenever making others happy calls for a sacrifice or a compromise, never take that call. If ever you do or if you have to then don’t call it a relation. It was just a give-take business.

NOW I am shifting focus of my camera to “myself” from others.

Now, I am not going to sacrifice any damn thing for anyone out there. Yes you heard me right.. I won’t. Till now I had done what I did. Now I will live my own life.. making ME happy first.. then others.

Ask yourself – Happy me or happy others ?? I agree I am not that that kind who will always be happy to make others happy (and myself unhappy). I will be happy if I am happy. Without sacrifices without compromises. As simple as that.

Let us live our OWN life happily.

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I started loving myself and will going to be happy. JUST FOR ME.. YES CALL ME SELFISH.

 

One of my very good friend told me. She is so true saying this.

“Khud ke liye bahut baar bura banana padta he. And when this happens you learn better that it is just you and yourself who matters.”

 

So, Come on world call me bad, call me selfish, call me arrogant but this is me.. This is happy me and free me.

 

P.S. alright I am taking this risk of writing this. I challenged myself to be me and no more hiding. No hard feelings.

P.P.S – I do not care for what people think of me. What i think of myself is what matters. Breaking my “statue” in your hands.

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No Man’s Land


Familiarity breeds contempt.

Very true it is. The more you are familiar, more are the chances of loosing your respect. The more you are close, (let’s talk with respect to country, person or anything) much more are the chances of disturbances.

Abundance of any particular thing decreases it’s value, closeness of countries give rise to political disturbances, and freeness with a person causes misunderstanding.

There should always be a ‘No-man’s land’. Be it physical between borders or between relations.

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If there be faith, love and trust, then, is there really any need of this No-man’s land?

I personally do not believe and agree with this. If trust is there in any relationship then familiarity can’t breed contempt at all. And if it does then there is just a formality not a relationship.

Once you take that place / person as your own is there really a need to maintain that space??

Why should anyone create a scenario or some background before saying anything. May be because s/he is afraid of the reaction of the other person. May be s/he thinks that it may be understood wrong, or will get hurt or hurt someone. May be the listener don’t understand the thing in the same way s/he trying to say. But again the reason for this lack of trust??

One more reason I can think of this is a person’s conditioning. We, (specially ‘Indian girls’) are wired to say, act and behave in such a way that no one gets hurt, even at the cost of her own feelings and sacrifices. And evidently it happens that the person just keep on thinking of the pros and cons of the conversation.

Pure and true relation does not need any background to say or discuss something. We can say clearly whatever we want and the other person will understand it in the same way.

This reminds me of a movie ‘Drishyam’. Where in the end Ajay Devgan so diplomatically answers their question. That is my favorite part. It was rather necessary at that particular moment. Because those standing in front of him are not his own people, nor they are attached in any way. So it was necessary. His direct words would have definitely gone against him. But this should not happen with our loved ones.

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There is a saying in Hindi ‘अति सर्वत्र वर्जयेत् ‘ means ‘too much of anything is bad’

But I am not talking about that ‘too much’ here. What we are discussing here is just to be free with someone / something and the need of No-man’s land.

Say it be between countries; things-fruits, veggies, other eatables, usable or any other damn thing ; husband-wife, brother-sisters, friends, parents, or any other relation.

What are your thoughts on this, let me know in the comment section below.

Categories: Raw Writings | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

Ah!! These Girls


Listening to a Bollywood Hindi song.. In this blog post I am analyzing how it also shows the fun and lighter side of a girl-boy relationship. Yes girls are like this only. All they need is just love and care..

Song goes like this –

Boy
Agar main kahoon mujhe tumse mohabbat hai / If I tell you I love you
Meri bas yehi chaahat hai toh kya kahogi / and you are my only wish, what will you do?

Girl :
Main tumse kahoongi,  / I will tell you
is baat ko agar tum / If you would have said this thing
Zara aur saja ke kehte, zara ghooma-phira ke kehte / indirectly and in good way,
To achcha hota / then it would have been better

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Ok fine.. He loves truly, what he can do.. He tries.. Boy tries to express his love ‘thoda ghuma fira ke‘ see how he symbolize his feelings for her.

Boy :
Tumko jab dekhoon lagti ho jaise nayi  / When I see you, you look new/fresh
Honthh hain pankhadi phool ki  / Lips are like petals of flower
Aankhein jaise jugnu chamke huwe / Eyes are like fire-flies
Soche mera ye dil dhadakte huwe / This is what my heart thinks while beating
Agar main kahoon / If I tell you
Agar main kahoon ye jo chehra hai  / If I tell you that this face of yours
Jaise koyi chaand hai toh kya kahogi  / is like moon, then what will you say?

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Girl is not happy with even this effort..well girls have a god gift of finding mistakes and faults in almost everything.. How can this go un-judged. Why over expecting gal??

Girl :
Main tumse kahoongi  / I will tell you
Mujhko bhoole se bhi chaand tum na kaho  / Don’t ever say me moon
Chaand mein toh kayin daag hai / Because even moon has scars
Mujhe phool na kehna woh murjhaate hain  / Don’t say me flower, coz they also get dry
Jugnu bhi na kehna woh kho jaate hain / Don’t say me fire-fly, they get lost

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Again she want him to say in some other better way, than that would have been better

And when the boy surprised by listening to her replies doesn’t know how to say and what to say. Headed to leave in vain after so much effort and failing in love.

Then finally girl agrees her love as well..watching him going she says –
‘When this is the saying of both the hearts, then why to say it’

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arey pagli, pahle kya Chinese me bola tha kya bechare bande ne’

That innocent guy is saying so clearly his love for the gal and she is dying for some dramatic version. When he do even that, she finds lack in that also.

It happens. Girl is toh spending time with boy, roaming like close friends mmm… more like gf -bf but not understanding his feelings. He had done many things that ‘just-a-friend’ will never do. Indirectly he have had expressed many times his feelings and anyone ‘except that girl’ can easily see and understand that. His eyes can easily be read. And after all this, even if someone comes and try to make her understand about that, her reaction will be like ‘okaaay,but yar usne kabhi directly toh bola hi nahi’

Girls don’t want to see indirect expression, she want things to be said directly. And when he says so crystal clearly she says thoda ghuma ke kahte to achha hota

Ufff… So complicated girls are.. bahan, pahle khud to decide karle chahti kya hain’

P.S. – my first take on humor. May be not that a great read, but if you smiled even once, I am inspired.
P.P.S. – translation done by Google baba 😛

Categories: Movie, Raw Writings | Tags: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

विचार


विचारों की गति इतनी तेज़ होती हैं,इतने तेज़ी से विचार आते और जाते हैं की उनको शब्दों में बयां करना मुश्किल हो जाता हैं। विचारों की भीड़ इतनी ज्यादा हो जाती है, ऐसा लगता है अकेले कहीं खो गई हूँ, भीड़ में साथी का हाथ छूट गया हो अचानक । इतनी घबराहट। पता नहीं कहाँ जा रही हूँ, बस भीड़ के साथ यहाँ- वहां गिरते जा रही हूँ।

एक पल में सम्हाला खुद को, एक आशा की किरण दिखी, राहत मिली, पर फिर अगले ही पल गिरना अखरता है।

इतनी भीड़ कभी सही नहीं जाती। मन करता हैं भाग जाऊ कही। पर अपने ही विचारों से, अपने आप से, कैसे भागूं ??

कोई अपने आप से कैसे भाग सकता हैं ?? किसी को आता हो तो मुझे भी बताए |

Categories: Raw Writings | Tags: , , , | 3 Comments

Is this our so called System ??


Passport

Making a passport was said to be the most toughest job because the process is so strict and lengthy that it takes time. Each and every aspect, every detail is verified. You have to properly waste your 4-5 hours in the process. First application then doing the A – B – C (Counters) Even a slight difference will keep your file on hold. Unless you submit right documents nothing can be done.  Not an easy job. The process should be cut short and made easy for a normal person. Otherwise it is good.

Let’s say, If in the form a female mentions “married” as the marital status, she has to attach the copy of marriage registration. When asked why it is mandatory, well the expected reply comes “You are declaring it na” And if she is not having marriage certificate, by any chance, she has to make an affidavit mentioning the details along with a joint photograph with husband. FULL-PROOF system. Fine, I agree and support this. It is necessary as a proof of marriage. If she is declaring she has to give proof. No one not even her can misuse or misguide.

Now let’s see the other side of it. When a male mentions “married” as the marital status, he has to attach NOTHING. Yes..nothing. Just the name filled in the form will make “that named” girl his wife. No verification of this. No marriage certificate, no affidavit, not even photograph, no ID of that girl. I was really shocked knowing this. How can this be happening. Can’t that be misused ??

I am not talking about equality between male and female at all. I am just differentiating the right from the wrong. i am not advocating one gender or disregarding the other. At least the system should be proper.

Categories: Raw Writings | Tags: , , , , | 12 Comments

Me v/s Myself


This is my 100th post. Yup !! quite a milestone and a long way to go further. Was thinking since long about what to write and how to make this milestone special. Then God and Nature gave me something. In my previous post i mentioned about the Diwali Celebration we had in our society. I made a debut with stage performance against all the odds.

I had never danced before. I always have that li’l bit of stage fear deep down in me. The thought of being in front of the crowd makes me nervous. Till the very last moment that fear in me was dragging me down.

Me 1-“you don’t need to dance on stage, you practiced na that’s enough.”
Me 2-“nooo that is not enough. “
Me 1 – “You are not doing well. “
Me 2 – “I had practiced and it’s well enough for the first time. Yes, am not perfect but even not that bad, huh !!
Me 1 – People will laugh on you 
Me 2 – Fine, let them laugh. If i mess up i will laugh too 😉
Me 1 – but….
Me 2 – Shhhh…sushh..come on, stop making excuses, you can and you will do it. Kill that stage fear, go, dance and enjoy.

And just before the performance when the one asked me “Aap kar rahe ho na dance?” i was like it’s the last chance, “say No”. But then i challenged myself and I did it.

Battle

And yes I won… Yoohooo I did it I did it.. And people are saying it was good. Well, i too felt it was really not that bad. Killing my own fear and winning over own weaknesses is the best feeling I had that day. I was happy. I was satisfied.

Categories: Raw Writings, Story Slate | 12 Comments

Diwali Celebration in Goa


When we shifted to Goa 8 months ago,  we were a bit worried about the new place. How will we adjust,  how will the people be like,  will we get a nice place to live or not ??and dozen more questions. But now I have a totally changed view. People here are so nice, you won’t feel alone with them. The society I live in is a great one and so are the people.

On 25th there was a Diwali celebration. All the kids in the society prepared dances and performed. Some solo, some in group. I also made a debut. Yes,  you read that right. For those who know me they know I had never danced before. Yup that was not that easy for me. Read here what it takes me do that and how I won the battle.

Here are some glimpses of the program. It bang started with special Diwali song by small kids. That was real cute watching these kiddies.

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Boys gang is bang on with their performance full of energy and enthusiasm.

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“Ye ladka hai diwana hai diwana” Any event is incomplete without a group dance by boys and girls on this song fusioned with other Girls v/s Boys songs.

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Girls are so delicate, and so is their kalaiya. Girls with chitiya kalaiya were just superb, with such elegant moves.
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Halloween was over but for us here “party toh abhi shuru hui he” We had ghosts as well taking their revenge.

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Revenge !!

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Scary Huh!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the program comes to an end which no one wants, it is followed by dinner and a DJ group dance. Everyone enjoyed and  it was an awesome night.

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At the end as no one wants to leave, go home and sleep. What started is the photo shoot and selfies. Once again a big hand for all the talented and energetic “baccha log” of our society. We are proud of you guys !!
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Thought Waves


This morning a message from one of my friends left me without words.

It goes like this –

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I was shocked and surprised at the same time. I am happy that my writings help anyone, inspires, motivate and gives hope. But at the same time I was forced to ask myself “is this all really worthful’.. I mean ‘a life saver’!! Am I really doing a good job..or doing good to even few people?

This most unexpected message pushed me into deep well of thoughts. It’s like a non ending well in which I keep on falling and falling not hitting the bottom and just keep thinking and thinking. Arguing with self. This gave hope even to me and took me out of the whirlpool of negativity. For me it’s like a silver lining in the dark clouds.

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Simple Truth !!


After so much hurt and resultant thinking the great great ‘Anami’ found out the basic reason for ‘expectations‘.

We expect the same thing from someone which we would do if we were in their situation, wearing their shoes.

Categories: Gyan, Raw Writings | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

No Words For Such People


Those who want to manage WILL manage without saying a single word. Aapko pata bhi nhi chalega aur kaam ho jaega.

Those who don’t will make excuses with ‘Mithi Mithi baatein’ as if samne wala toh ullu he.. And then I feel pity for such people how they are deteriorating their level. Hasi aati he aise logon par..

Categories: One Liners, Raw Writings | 2 Comments

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