Getting straight to the point…
Recently I lost my laptop data. ALL of it. It included my daily writing work, photos, videos, songs, movies and what not. For the last 1 year my laptop has become everything for me. I had a really bad habit of treasuring memories in the form of writeups backed with photos and videos.
I used to write on my laptop. Whatever is on my mind it’s on my laptop. There would be about 4 word files that are WIP at any particular time.
Photos and videos of my 17 months daughter. I had treasured 1000s (yes!!) of her photos and videos since the day she was born. Me and my husband’s photos of last 30 years. Photos of our four years of married life. I was crazy about photos and collecting them. I lost all of these.
A rare and unique collection of over 8000+ songs, which I was so proud of. Name a song and I had it. All gone.
Movies collection of both Hollywood and. Bollywood. All gone.
So all ranting is done. This is about what’s all gone, what’s all lost. Now let me tell you what I found.
Initially, I was so agitated that it even drew a few droplets out of my eyes. I was depressed as if I have lost everything. (Yes I did)
Then I peeped within. I observed my inner feelings. Oh !! what attachment, what adhesion I had with all such stuff. I saw and observed and realized. Gradually, all the negative feelings of depression, irritation, anger, helplessness, pain, agony, pangs of conscience, agitation all began to disperse and eventually disappeared.
1. How we get attached to things and people, and when they go away from our life it hurts. And it hurts a lot. 30 years of both the parents and 2 years of the kid. All gone. No memories will be there for this time period. Oh really?? Not physically, but only in our minds. These are only photos that are gone. Even living people go and we have to accept it. (Being blunt, but it is the bitter truth) I am another step closer to detachment. And life gave me a chance to get rid of my “extras”.
2. Doubt and fear are imaginary and they feed on our imagination. The more you imagine the more they will grow. And these two never live in present. Both doubt and fear arise when we either think of past or the future. “What will I say to my kid when she asks for her childhood photos??” “Oh how good the photos and everything were?? ” Stop thinking about past or the future. Live in present and avoid doubt and fear.
3. Whatever happens, happens for the good. So what’s good in this?? See the positive in every situation. I no longer have to worry about these things when I die. My Burden is decreased. It unburdened me by the pressure of regularly taking and collecting all my data at one place (yes, I used to do that). Now, I have one job less to do.
4. It is ok to not be perfect. I was a perfectionist (in certain ways) and I want things in a proper systematic way. Be it the gadgets, data, home decor, or any darn thing. I let go of that ‘perfectionist’ feeling. I am ok with the things and situations as they are.
5. If it is written, it is bound to happen. Sometime or later. It is fixed and nothing can change it. So better to not become an obstacle and keep the flow smooth. Accept not expect and go with the flow.
P.S. – It took me 2.5 hours and ‘a flash second ‘ to accept the loss and make peace with the situation.