What I learned when I lost…

Getting straight to the point…

Recently I lost my laptop data. ALL of it. It included my daily writing work, photos, videos, songs, movies and what not. For the last 1 year my laptop has become everything for me. I had a really bad habit of treasuring memories in the form of writeups backed with photos and videos.

I used to write on my laptop. Whatever is on my mind it’s on my laptop. There would be about 4 word files that are WIP at any particular time.

Photos and videos of my 17 months daughter. I had treasured 1000s (yes!!) of her photos and videos since the day she was born. Me and my husband’s photos of last 30 years. Photos of our four years of married life. I was crazy about photos and collecting them. I lost all of these.

A rare and unique collection of over 8000+ songs, which I was so proud of. Name a song and I had it. All gone.

Movies collection of both Hollywood and. Bollywood. All gone.

So all ranting is done. This is about what’s all gone, what’s all lost. Now let me tell you what I found.

Initially, I was so agitated that it even drew a few droplets out of my eyes. I was depressed as if I have lost everything. (Yes I did)

Then I peeped within. I observed my inner feelings. Oh !! what attachment, what adhesion I had with all such stuff. I saw and observed and realized. Gradually, all the negative feelings of depression, irritation, anger, helplessness, pain, agony, pangs of conscience, agitation all began to disperse and eventually disappeared.

1. How we get attached to things and people, and when they go away from our life it hurts. And it hurts a lot. 30 years of both the parents and 2 years of the kid. All gone. No memories will be there for this time period. Oh really?? Not physically, but only in our minds. These are only photos that are gone. Even living people go and we have to accept it. (Being blunt, but it is the bitter truth) I am another step closer to detachment. And life gave me a chance to get rid of my “extras”.

2. Doubt and fear are imaginary and they feed on our imagination. The more you imagine the more they will grow. And these two never live in present. Both doubt and fear arise when we either think of past or the future. “What will I say to my kid when she asks for her childhood photos??” “Oh how good the photos and everything were?? ” Stop thinking about past or the future. Live in present and avoid doubt and fear.

3. Whatever happens, happens for the good. So what’s good in this?? See the positive in every situation. I no longer have to worry about these things when I die. My Burden is decreased. It unburdened me by the pressure of regularly taking and collecting all my data at one place (yes, I used to do that). Now, I have one job less to do.

4. It is ok to not be perfect. I was a perfectionist (in certain ways) and I want things in a proper systematic way. Be it the gadgets, data, home decor, or any darn thing. I let go of that ‘perfectionist’ feeling. I am ok with the things and situations as they are.

5. If it is written, it is bound to happen. Sometime or later. It is fixed and nothing can change it. So better to not become an obstacle and keep the flow smooth. Accept not expect and go with the flow.

P.S. – It took me 2.5 hours and ‘a flash second ‘ to accept the loss and make peace with the situation.

Categories: Gyan, Raw Writings, Vipassana | 3 Comments

You Know ?? No, You Believe

Hey all !!  Who missed me??  Or my blog posts?? 😉 well,  even if you didn’t, I did. Since last 3 Mondays I was missing my #MondayMusing blog posts.  Well for the first one,  it was just after Diwali Festival. No,  no I am not blaming the festival as “21 random facts about me ” is still in drafts,  which I planned to publish but didn’t for some reason. Will do it soon enough. 

As for the last two Mondays I was in a ten-day residential course of “Vipassana”. Now you might be thinking what is this “Vipassana”.

It is simply science experienced on our own, for those who know about science. For spiritual people it is the only practical way to liberation, nirvana. For simple people it is the way to get rid of miseries and pain in life. In my words it is for everyone who actually want to explore about life and know how to live.

I have got no words to describe my thoughts. It is like you give pancakes and pastry to a dumb/mute person and ask him how it is like. (in hindi we call this situation as गूंगे का गुड़)

We all agree that there are miseries and sorrows every now and then. Life is full of good and bad moods, ups and downs, happiness and sadness. For, not good things and situations few even say that “This too shall pass”. Yes eventually everything will. CHANGE IS THE ONLY PERMANENT THING.

Many of you even know that our body is also made up of tiny cells, atoms etc. which are continuously vibrating and changing their form. All this we “believe” by words and study, not by experience. We don’t know we just believe.

There is a difference between “believing” and “knowing

We have heard so much about how to live, how to manage things, how to behave in anger or how to handle situations. But all these are just from the upper layer of the mind.  Deep within our mind is still the same.  Keep on reacting..keep on collecting miseries keep on agitating self and others. It is not under our control. Is it??  Nope.

Vipassana teaches this, How to apply all these words and sayings practically in day to day life. Vipassana lets you know what you have been believing since ages.

Vipassana means to see things as they really are, is one of India’s most ancient techniques of meditation. It was taught in India more than 2500 years ago as a universal remedy for universal ills.

It teaches what “Shuddha Dharma” , “Pure Dhamma” is.

What is Dharma / Dhamma (in pali language). It has nothing to do with a particular “sect” . Yes, all these years we have lost the true meaning of dhamma.  It means the law of nature. It is not hindu, not Muslim, not Christian,  not Jain, or any sect. Dhamma means nature. Like it is the nature of fire to burn, it is nature of ice to provide coldness.  It is their dharma, it is their pure nature. Irrespective of any sect or religion.

So in deeper meaning Vipassana is Pure Dhamma / Shuddha Dharma.

Vipassana is a way of self-transformation through self-observation. It focuses on the deep interconnection between mind and body.

The scientific laws that operate one’s thoughts, feelings, judgements and sensations become clear. Through direct experience, the nature of how one grows or regresses, how one produces suffering or frees oneself from suffering is understood. Life becomes characterized by increased awareness, non-delusion, self-control and peace.

This is so scientific and clear that one cannot raise a single doubt against it.

The entire practice is actually a mental training. Just as we use physical exercises to improve our bodily health, Vipassana can be used to develop a healthy and purified mind.

The course requires very hard and serious work. There are four areas one will learn during the course –

1. Sheel / Precepts – The first step is, for the period of the course, to abstain from killing, stealing, sexual activity, speaking falsely, and intoxicants. Nothing wrong. One should follow all these. Right??

2. Samadhi / Mastering Mind – This step is to develop some mastery over the mind. Who doesn’t want this?? And this is done by observing normal natural  breath as it enters and leaves the nostrils. 

3. Pragya /Pannya – In this important step one learn while observing sensations throughout the body, understanding their nature, and developing equanimity by learning not to react to them.

4. Mangal Maitri /Metta Bhawna – When you find some precious gem, you want to share it. You want others also to be happy as you are happy. On the last full day participants learn the meditation of loving kindness or goodwill towards all.

While reading all this, you might be thinking what’s the big task.  It is so easy. I insist just attend one course. Yes take the first step.

Do not just believe what I am saying. Go, give it a try. know yourself, experience it yourself, check it, then only believe.

For further details visit the website –

Linking this post with #Monday Musings


Categories: Monday Musing, Vipassana | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments


Translate in English

हम मनुष्यों की एक आदत होती है – किसी भी बात को अपने अनुरूप ढाल लेना और अपने मतलब का चुन लेना | और इसी आदत से सामने आती है कुछ रोचक व विवादास्पद बातें –  Continue reading

Categories: Raw Writings, Vipassana | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Live In Full Equanimity = LIFE

Thinking is a continuous process.  Our mind is like a monkey, once on a tree, it keeps on jumping from one to another. You started with one thought, just one, but you never know how you end up with something so different.

Same way, i also don’t know how i landed into my school / college days. I used to be one of the topper in the class (Well, not a big D, most kids are). I was thinking how i used to get so much upset for even a 9.5 over 10. How i always wanted to outdrive a boy who always comes first.

In the thought process, i don’t know how and when my mind picked a memory from my college life and screened it. It showed when i even fought with a professor for getting an A grade. Everybody’s gone, just me arguing with her. And, after an hour or so, when i came out, everyone is like ‘what happened?, did you won the battle?’ Yes, it’s not less than a battle. Today also when i think of that moment , i see myself so conceited and arrogantly coming out of the room, that yes i have won the battle (so-called argument) and now i have Grade A in ALL subjects, and i am a 10 pointer now.

There are many such incidents in my life, maybe even in everyone’s life.

Now, today when i think of all such incidents, i am forced to question myself – “Does that ACTUALLY mattered that  much?”, “Was that .5 mark worth my worry, my agitation?” , “Does it made any difference to me NOW”, “What would have happened if ever i had missed grade A in JUST ONE subject? ” “Was that actually a real issue to fight / argue over with my friend/family/colleague?

The answer to all such questions is a BIG NO and a BIGGER NOTHING.

Yes, its human nature. we all crave for the best, for a perfect 10 on 10 in everything we do, in every field we work in. Being child / young its very common. we can’t blame the person. But as a grown up individual, ask yourself – “Is it really right?, am i living & behaving in a proper manner. What am i doing to myself?”

Just stay equanimous. See the things as they really are, not as you want to perceive them. Unwanted things will keep on happening, wanted things may or may not happen. Don’t crave for the pleasant sensations and don’t dislike the unpleasant ones. Live a life free of miseries, live a peaceful and happy life. Enjoy real harmony.


Categories: Gyan, Vipassana | Tags: , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Vipassana Meditation – The Technique

Vipassana, which means to see things as they really are, is one of  India’s most ancient techniques of meditation.  It was rediscovered  by Gotama Buddha more than 2500 years ago and was taught by him as  a universal remedy for universal ills, i.e., an Art of Living.

This non-sectarian technique aims for the total eradication of  mental impurities and the resultant highest happiness of full  liberation.  Healing, not merely the curing of diseases, but the  essential healing of human suffering, is its purpose.

Vipassana is a way of self-transformation through self-observation.  It focuses on the deep interconnection between mind and body, which  can be experienced directly by disciplined attention to the  physical sensations that form the life of the body, and that  continuously interconnect and condition the life of the mind.  It  is this observation-based, self-exploratory journey to the common  root of mind and body that dissolves mental impurity, resulting in  a balanced mind full of love and compassion.

The scientific laws that operate one’s thoughts, feelings,  judgements and sensations become clear.  Through direct experience,  the nature of how one grows or regresses, how one produces  suffering or frees oneself from suffering is understood.  Life  becomes characterized by increased awareness, non-delusion,  self-control and peace.


Courtesy –

Categories: Vipassana | Tags: , | 2 Comments

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