Posts Tagged With: Monday Musing

The Decision


Misha from last few, rather more than few incidents she was more fed up than irritated.

Misha is constantly in the dilemma whether to share her mind set, with Shantanu or not. Her “upset-cum-agitated” mind is making her mad. In her full term, she don’t want to be in any trouble due to her mental state.

On one hand, she has one thought of avoiding the situation, and not increase any negative discussion on the topic. Another thought she has, that Shantanu should know everything. She knows, now she can’t handle the bundle of thoughts, and no more hold the sea of her compressed feelings inside her heart. Her heart is now overflowing and just a gentle strike will spill it out. She need to put “what’s-going-on-in-her-mind” out, and free herself.

First she thought Shantanu will blame only her that how can she say anything about his side of family. But on the second thought she knew Shantanu will understand her and her perception. As Shantanu also knows their nature.

At last, after so many sleepless nights, She took a stand and finally decided to share her feelings with Shantanu.

 

 

 

But she didn’t..        Wordless, she was..

 

 

 


Linking this post with #Monday Musings, Microblog Mondays and Wordless Wednesday

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तब और अब


तब, सुबह उठते ही माँ का दुलार
अब, सुबह उठते से जिम्मेदारियों का भर

तब, ज़रा सी चोट पर बैंड ऐड लगवाना
अब, दर्द-ए-दिल भी किसी को न बताना

तब, काम करते  वक़्त कुछ होना और सब को बताना
अब, खुद ही जले का इलाज करना

तब, नींद न आए तो सुबह लेट उठना
अब, रात भर जाग कर भी जल्दी उठना

तब, दिल खोल कर बात करना
अब, दस ख़्यालों में आधा बोलना

-अ’नामी’

 

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Linking this post with #Monday Musings

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Categories: Hindi Poems, Monday Musing, Story Slate | Tags: , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

21 Random Facts About Me


21 Random Facts About Me.. It’s been long time when i read Ms. Anamika’s blog post about this. Such type of prompts ignite some thoughtfulness and make me think about myself. It helps to know myself better. We don’t know ourselves nearly as well, as we think we do. I fall in this categoty 😀

‘To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.’ – Socrates

Here are few really random and funny facts about me.

1. I never tasted tea. Yes it’s true!!

2. While dipping biscuit in my glass of milk (bournvita / or plain) oh yeas i still drink milk daily. I hold two parle-g back to back then dip. P

3. I do not really like cooking. Ok call me bad. (it is just the starting)

4. Don’t know dancing, though tried sometimes when alone 😉 , but just once on stage. I may be suffering from “stage fear”.

5. Very keen in technical things, gadgets, electronics etc. different softwares. Me being a girl, it surprises many people.

6. People say and now I also agree, I am too straight forward and don’t know how to talk or showoff.

7. Quite good at art work, designs, painting, creative work.

8. Started being myself now. Of course it is hard. You have to be bad in others’ view. Call me bad again. I don’t care anymore.

9. First page first, then last page, then backwards. Strange and funny but, yes I read newspaper like this only. 😛

10. Can write somewhat readable text with left hand 😛

11. Can do almost anything, after trying once.

12. Another non-girlish fact. 😛 I Don’t like sweets. I prefer savoury dish over something sweet.

13. Yet another non-girlish one. I am kinda color blind. Unlike other girls, I can’t properly understand different shades or ” ish ” in colors. Like magenta, mustard colour, sea green, parrot green, rani color, peach color, purple, violet etc.

14. While counting anything in hindi after “tees” (30) I go – thirty one, thirty two…

15. Many a times I pronounce “s” sound as “sh”. Like sys(h)tem, s(h)tart, s(h)tyle, s(h)tage, s(h)traight, fas(h)t.

16. I can type real fast.

17. When I am angry, I usually get silent. Can’t hide my expressions. My face says it all, specially anger and discomfort.

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18. Noticed recently that I reset the plastic to it’s original shape (unlike second one in the pic) , after taking the tablet from the strip. ( first row is empty)

 

 

 

19. I was so introvert that i didn’t talked to anyone and had only one friend in childhood. 12 classes..3 schools..2 friends. Thanks to Facebook,  for connecting with some old fellas. Improvising and made few more awesome friends through blogging.

20. Since childhood when asked what i want in life or what my goal is “Name, Fame and Money” is my answer. 😛

21. I can bet, no one had ever done this much research, on one’s own name, as i have done. While introducing myself (school, college, wherever), the question i knew always coming up next is “what’s the meaning of your name?”

P.S. – 1. it’s a stage in meditation of Radha Swami mat..
2. In french “une ami” pronounced as Anami means ” A friend”
– please google for more information 🙂

Even you can try taking up this. It will be fun. I f you wish share your blog post link in the comment section below.

 


Linking this post with #Monday Musings

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Modern society ? Busted!!


Misha don’t want to trouble Shantanu, so she never told him about any such incidents. She knew she only has to understand and she is doing. Shantanu might be knowing but what can he do?

Misha feels like she is still living in the 70s and 80s time, of which she had heard from her mother.  Where a bahu (DIL) had no power and choice on her own life. Every time she has to ask her in-laws for permission.

A call from her “previous” (yes, as per society that WAS her family. Now this is her family) family directly to her is so much a thing of prestige and pride for her in-laws that it created a mayhem. How can they call her directly and don’t call and ask them first? They are the elders of family, they should be given respect. Now God knows how can one get respect by shouting and asking for it.

Yes, she felt bad, even shed few tears silently, but more she was feeling pity towards those “elders” and how “kiddish” they had behaved. She is equanimious and is just watching the situation as a third person without reacting and only observing.

She asks herself : what could have been done so that this.. unrest and turbulence would have been avoided.
1. She should not have told about the phone call (as always)
2. The elders should have shown some elderness, maturity and handled the situation properly.

From many such situations, Misha is learning everyday. She thank all of them and many such people around her to make her wiser day by day. Now she knows and understands very well, how to handle situation, so as to maintain relations. She knows thinking and worrying more about this will push her more towards depression. So she will not let the negativity creeps in. She is good now.

How in today’s age one pretend to be so open minded but unfortunately reality comes out time and again. Arey, trust her once. Give her few chances. If you are saying your daughter and DIL are equal to you, treat her like that. Just don’t say for the sake of saying. How can you just think and make your own opinion about a person.

Namiwise

By misbehaving, a person is not insulting other, but is deteriorating his own respect. He is just satisfying and nurturing his ego.


Linking this post with #Monday Musings

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Categories: Microblog Mondays, Mish-tories, Monday Musing | Tags: , , , , , | 6 Comments

Dip into Depression


Shantanu- what happened?
Misha – Nothing
Shantanu – OK. What’s for dinner?

Shantanu – Why you crying / upset ?
Misha – nothing.
Shantanu – haha, OK cry, cry.

Misha – You knew about this. Why didn’t you told me earlier?
Shantanu -I didn’t knew.
*Misha felt hurt, as she knew the truth. *

Misha just expected a little more care and pampering. If he had asked once more, showing that he cares, she would have poured out everything her heart had held for so long.

On one hand, she was happy and content, but on the other, she feels low, empty and alone.

Even a slightest harsh thing hurt her like anything. She realizes how tender her heart has become. Like an innocent child tears roll down from a simple talk.

In her third trimester it happens. Harmonal changes lead to mood swings and kind of depression. She cries for no reason. But there are many accumulated spots behind those tears. She is very well aware of actions and thoughts she is going through. His one loving touch and she breaks down. She wants to say, prepare words but instead of words from mouth, tears started flowing from eyes, non stop.

Misha knew she can never go into any such thing as depression, but she is also very well aware of what is happening to her and she can actually see it coming. It was just like she is letting “The devil” come in and can’t do anything.

Misha is a girl who is mostly quiet and is to herself. Never talked or shared her feelings, particularly sad and bad ones, with any one. Not even her mother or even Shantanu after the marriage. But deep inside she always wanted someone “that special one” with whom she can share her every single thought, (good, bad, sad, happy..) without giving it a second thought. Without the fear of being judged.

Just a little more care and she will be saved from dipping into depression.

—————————————————
Namiwise

If you think it isn’t happening to your loved ones, you’re wrong. So wrong. Ask them again and again and again. They will be reluctant at first, but then you need to prod.

It is not something that we don’t know or had never experienced. It is normal. We care for our loved ones and always wished their well being. Ask just one more time. #DobaraPoocho #BaarBaarPoocho

People who think twice before saying or doing anything, who do not open up their heart easily. They must be recognized and helped in bringing their thoughts out.

If you think you are strong enough and can’t get into depression, You are wrong. Depression is not something happening to only emotionally, or mentally week people.

My thought is, people who suppress their feelings and are strong, they only are more prone to such after affects. Yes, I call depression a after affect of being quietlyso much responsible and strong for too long. They take care of everyone and forget about taking care of self.

Let us all give them their share of care and save them from sinking into depression.

P.S. – #DobaraPoocho

This blog post is inspired by a video of “Live Love Laugh” foundation launched by actress Deepika Padukone, which deals with depression and helps people suffering from it.

The foundation recently released an ad about how we miss out on everyday cues by our loved ones, which only worsens their condition. One should prod loved one on seeing the slightest signs of unhappiness.

Quoting from foundation –

It creeps in with silent feet, sits calmly in your heart and runs havoc in your brain. More often than not, we don’t even get to know we’ve been hit by it. Mostly, it’s just a feeling of being “a bit off” or “not myself” that’s dismissed as a phase.

Watch the full video here:


Linking this post with #Monday Musings

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It’s a dream


From last few days I was trying on some lucid dreaming. Yes,  lucid dreaming means conscious dreaming.

Science says,  there are conscious, unconscious and subconscious mind.  When we are awake our conscious mind is active. We are aware (so called) of everything. But when we are asleep our subconscious mind works. This is where the dreams come from.

Lucid dreaming is not that easy. When you try doing it, conscious mind can’t go completely inactive. And then You can’t sleep when your mind is working. It is like a vicious circle.

IS THIS A DREAM?
Now, what I am experimenting is being aware in dreams. That is knowing that i am dreaming. My first logic is whenever something unusual happens, I ask “is this a dream? “. Sounds easy huh ?? but it’s not that easy. We are so used to and habitual to dreams that we don’t even realize when we dream. We take it as reality until we wake up.

REVERSE GEAR
Second, I ask,  “what happened few moments back?” , “how I reached here?”. It happens only in dreams that we suddenly land up at some random place or situation. We don’t know what happened earlier and how we came at that place.

SET OF PEOPLE
It happens in dream that our two sets of people we know assemble together at one place. Like, in one of my dreams i have my school and college friends gathered at one place and interacting,. They don’t know each other in real lives but they do in my dreams.

SO FAR..
From above practices and experimenting, i learned a bit aobut Lucid Dreaming. Sometimes it happens that we can’t differentiate between dream and reality unless something unusual / unwanted happens. Like, I remember once I lost my mobile.. Then I asked myself where did I forgot it, when I saw it last time. Chill, this is a dream. Mobile is safe 😛

In the same scene earlier, I was in a marriage. Don’t know whose, don’t know what place, all unknown people. Which does not happens normally. Point here is,  my mind didn’t questioned anything unless my mobile was lost. And then, as my conscious mind started waking and realising that it is a dream, I was no more dreaming. Sigh.

Still need more practice. Learning is a continuous process and am learning.

Linking this post with #Microblog Mondays and #Monday Musings

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Starting with Small Steps Everyday..


What is the reason of our griefs??

Why are we disturbed?

Why we feel agitated at times?

Many a times I ponder upon such questions. Being with family and with in-laws it happens time and again. Somebody says something. Another one punctuate at times. Someone interrupts when you doing some work. It is not necessary that person is hurting you intentionally.

We cannot control the situation or that person. What we can control is ourselves. Our thoughts are the root cause of our griefs, disturbances, and agitation. That person and situation is gone. That moment passed. Person got engaged in something else. But we and our thoughts are continuously repeating those particular harsh words and keep on practising some answers for future. Or just talking to self about how and why s/he can say like that and remembering other wrong deeds of that particular person.

Eventually what is the outcome?? We hurt ourselves mentally and emotionally.

So what can be done? I got the answer to this one evening watching TV.

Again as i say.. everything out there teach us something. I am not a regular viewer of daily soaps, or any of those saas-bahu melodramatic series. But one bahu i watch daily is ‘our Rajni Kant‘. It is so easy to handle matters even as complicated and tangled as noodles the way she does.

There is so much to learn from that TV series in our daily lives and relationship.

“Ye feature toh mujhme he hi nahi”.

Mostly our negatives are the reactions to someone else’s deed or words . “Usne aisa bola, aisa kiya,  ab dekho me kya karta hu. Next time agar aisa Kaha na to main ye jawab dunga”..

There are uncountable instances like such in our daily lives. In such situation why not say “Ye feature toh mujhme he hi nahi” and move on happily.

It needs a lot of work and higher level spiritual growth along with self analysis to be equanimous even with positive emotions and vibrations. But at least we can take the first step. Small steps with negative emotions. Whenever some negative, or wrong thought comes, we must follow Rajni.

Come Anger, frustration, jealousy, sadness, depression, doubt, regret, fear, hatred..“Ye feature toh mujhme he hi nahi” 🙂 I do.. Who else want to join in??

Linking this post with #Microblog Mondays and #Monday Musings

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